


meet me halfway

by poetdameron



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BuzzFeeder Ryan, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Shyan Week 2020, Teacher Shane, Unrequited Shara at the beginning, no beta we die like men, shyanwritingevents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23322073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: In a world where everything changed over the night, Ryan and Shane's minds connect miles away, making Shane the man of Ryan's dreams. Literally.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 44
Kudos: 277
Collections: Shyan Week 2020





	meet me halfway

**Author's Note:**

> Shyan Week 2020, day 1: Meeting.
> 
> I don't know how I made this work, but I did and in a way I'm proud. I'm also very scared of posting this. I apologize for the mess, I'm sorry it's not beta'ed yet. If anyone is interested in beta'ing this work, please let me know! And YES, yet another soulmate AU by yours truly.

Once, when Ryan was a child, something special happened.

He remembered it like a dream: running into the backyard with his little brother and mother as his father called for them, their old dogs barking when they stepped outside and looked at the night’s sky filled with stars that shone too bright.

The news outlets had been roaring with the information for days, it was going to rain stars as an Comet passed by. The fire in the sky visible to them for the night, his dad had prepared a late dinner and a good telescope for them to watch.

It had been magical.

And it had given  _ him  _ to Ryan.

**Meet Me Halfway**

_ The amount of affected people has been increasing since Night Zero, kids have been born Bridged since Comet Morpheus passed almost twenty years ago _ —

Shane muted the TV, looking at the image as he drank his coffee. 

In it, teens talked to reporters, probably about what they saw in their dreams, with  _ who  _ they shared them. Drawings of their Bridge appeared on screen and Shane shook his head, wishing he could simply erase the reality they lived in. He turned the TV off.

“You know, turning it off won’t make it go away.” He heard Sara say as she walked into the living room area with yet another box.

“Mhm,” Shane exclaimed, sighing as he remembered that stranger than fiction night when it all started, “I know, it’s— I guess it stresses me out how much people romanticise it. The Bridge is invasive as fuck, a fucking nightmare.”

He saw when her shoulders dropped before she sighed, looking at him with a little frown. Her hair had curled prettily today, Shane smiled as she seemed to try and find something on his face. But like many people before her, she didn’t find anything but his disdain for the night of the Comet and everything it brought to them.

_ It burns! MAKE IT STOP! IT BURNS! _

Shane suppressed a shiver, counting to ten before swallowing. Sara blinked twice before looking away.

“Have you seen your therapist lately?” She inquired, looking at her boxes. She opened her black marker and numbered her shoe’s box as one and two after its name. “I don’t think I’ve seen you come home late…”

“You sound so much like my mother…” He said, walking towards the kitchen where he could escape whatever was coming.

It didn’t work at the end.

“Your mother would love it if you went to your therapy as you should.” She said from the living room.

Shane licked between his lips, then looked up as if the ceiling may contain all answers he needed. It had nothing but a wall, similar to the one he found himself looking at the day he finally opened his eyes to darkness and  _ image _ .

“I haven’t!” He answered at least. “I just… I got a meeting on the day I was supposed to go, and just…” 

The words lingered there, between the kitchen and dining area, and the living room. He heard steps coming, then far away. Sara had gone into the bedroom again, leaving Shane alone with his thoughts and guilt, and the fact that he was planning on never returning to therapy because it was not worth the try.

It didn’t work. None of it did.

_ I can’t see! I can’t see! _

He shook his head, there were many things he wished had gone differently, many things he didn’t want to think about or remember, but the mind doesn’t work like that and so does life. You just keep going.

_ Keep going _ , he reminded himself,  _ keep fucking going _ .

“Have you…?” Sara’s voice straddled him, making Shane jump on his feet and turning around. The woman didn’t react to his act, so the smile he had on faded at her seriousness. “Have you had any connections lately?”

The question tasted bitter, sounded cursed, was unwanted. 

But he owed her the truth, Shane knew she was the only person in the world who may care at this point, who was still worried for him and his bitterness.  _ You are too young to be this bitter about things you have no control over _ , she had said way too many times.

He grimaced, shaking his head.

Her little smile tasted of defeat, the silence felt like pitty and Shane hated all of it. 

Shane hated that she was moving out, that he had no right to be so selfish and wanted her with him forever when she was so in love and had found someone who loved her with all her being. It wasn’t her fault he never dared to voice his feelings, singing a Beatles song together was not a confession.

“It’s not like if I want to have one, though.” He cleared, walking into the living room again to pretend and work on his next class. “I’m better this way, that shit only fucked with me as a teen.”

He could feel Sara’s eyes on him, she was probably seizing him up before speaking but at the end she didn’t give in to his games of hiding what he actually meant by his words and actions. She went back into the room, and she was leaving tomorrow morning with her girlfriend.

Shane bit his bottom lip and finally left the mug on the coffee table, taking his laptop and opening his e-mails. 

Nothing would distract him from his thoughts, he knew that, but at least he could pretend it did.

In his head, all he saw was The Bridge and the boy in it. He remembered him well, in spite of his most negative and venomous thoughts and words.

The first time, he had been standing there as the world around expanded in front of them. He had looked at Shane and blinked several times before reaching out with his hand even when he was so obviously frightened, the hand Shane had wanted to hold back then and couldn’t.

When he woke up, his sight had come back.

His eyes closed now, a headache already starting behind them. 

* * *

On July 23th, 1999 a comet passed the Earth at the same time it rained stars. It had been said it would be a natural and inoffensive incident, and yet it blinded 3% of the world’s population.

It had also coincided with something else.

The first reports were thought to be a massive hallucination: someone who had heard in the hospital a patient said they had a dream while blind, making that person say they had the same experience, spreading the word until many were saying the same.

Further research turned in another answer. A thing so weird, it was still complicated to explain unless you lived it. 

That night had blinded many, but it had also left a door open in their minds, a door whose other side was in another person’s mind as they slept, one who had not been blinded.

In the Dream, people met. 

They saw each other as you could see and touch anybody else when awake, in a space nobody had an explanation for, something people commonly called The Bridge nowadays, where conversations could be taken, where many met people who didn’t even speak their same language, something so strange, it had sent the world into a panic for its first months.

Like many other things, it slowed down, until kids started to report the appearance of other kids in their dreams. 

Kids who had been born after the comet, dreaming of children across the globe. So Night Zero became a story that inspired books and movies, there were songs written about The Bridge, and people who claimed the person you saw in your dreams was your soulmate.

Another person connected to you through distance and time, destined to meet you and find you, complete you in some way. The most romantic idea of love and life.

And Ryan had believed in it completely as a child.

When he saw the tall boy in his dreams, he had been scared but curious.

He had been brave and talked to him, touched his face and his hair, and learned his accent and unfunny jokes that were so funny to him. 

Ryan had looked forward to bed time, had wanted to know everything about the boy as they grew older together, as news spread about the dreams and the people affected by them, as the world changed and was forced to have a new normal, as he became braver and wanted to meet this boy in real life.

Alexander was older. He had a cute nose and the softest smile. He played baseball and beat Ryan in chess at first until he taught him to play and Ryan beat him more than once as they laughed together and the morning came.

“I want to meet you.” He remembered saying that night when all changed again. “I mean, like… in person?”

Ryan had been sixteen, Alexander had only turned twenty one and had shook his head.

“That would be so weird!” He had said. “Ry, you are… you are sixteen. You know how bad that would look?”

“Oh… I— I didn’t think of that.”

Alexander hadn’t said anything else, he barely talked to him back then, he had stopped talking as much as he grew older, as things kept changing in the world.

When he dreamt again, the connection was never there.

“This is strange to say the least.” The doctor had admitted. “But there have been reports of people losing the connections after a while. Some because of the other half dying or—”

Ryan hadn’t listened to the rest of it, just stared at the clock in the doctor’s room as it advanced slowly, frowning at the possibilities of why his connection had faded.

The sole idea of Alexander being dead was a shock, one he refused to believe. As he grew up and fell in love, experienced life in his every step, dreamed of a future only he could find the way to give to himself, Ryan wondered if Alexander was out there somewhere.

If his accent was the same, if he ever thought of him, if they would still be friends now that they were adults, what had he done with his life.

“I know I should let go…” He swallowed. “But I don’t know why, I just don’t know— I know deep down, I really know he isn’t gone. I know it.”

The doctor looked at him for several seconds as he made more notes, breathing so calm and steady, it made Ryan want to scream.

“You feel connected to him.” The man said carefully. “It’s common and normal for Dreamers to feel this way, and of course it’s hard to let go of it, and—“

As always, Ryan relaxed his shoulders, sighing as he zoned out the session.

… Just as he was doing as his friends talked right now as he tried to enjoy his lunch at peace.

“Holy shit,” Steven blinked a couple of times, Ryan stared in anticipation of the bunch of questions he knew were to come, “How? How is it possible?”

“Well, I read that the connections are lost when one of the people sharing it dies.” Brent added, helpful as always, making Ryan bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying something he would regret later. 

“That’s awful!” Lizz intervened, Ryan swallowed his food and looked into the rest of it without an appetite. “Jesus, Ryan, you think…?”

“I don’t know.” He repeated for god knows what time that day. He should have never brought up the theme. “I’ve tried to search for him, but… nothing.”

“And do you dream like anyone else now?” Zack asked, Justin’s eyes opened wide at his side and Ryan looked away.

“Yeah, I think so…” Ryan answered. “I tend to have more nightmares, though.”

“What do you mean?” Steven asked.

“Like,” Ryan looked up at his friend, he was frowning but genuine curiosity shone in his eyes, “I have this recurring nightmare where I go blind. I think I’m camping? And I’m sure it’s Night Zero, the sky is moving when this white light comes in, burning my eyes.”

In the dream, Ryan was sure he was someone else. He couldn’t know it, really, but he suspected it was Alexander. He knew his dream partner had been blinded on Night Zero and got his sight back after their first connection, the marks of the incident showing on his face for a long time until Ryan got used to it and only noticed them gone when he found himself thinking of the guy while awake.

“Where you?” Steven incisted. “Blinded on Night Zero?”

Ryan shook his head. “Alexander was.”

“Oh!”

The conversation drifted to everyone’s memories of Night Zero, the noise allowing Ryan to retreat into his head as he often did when he was anxious or overcome with feelings. Thinking of Alexander usually had that effect on him, it made him think of their shared space and the secrets he had told him, that strange childhood he was given, the way he lost it as if it was nothing.

He couldn’t be dead. The thought of that young, too long, too sweet guy— he couldn't even bring himself to think of it, not anymore, not after the afternoons he spent crying while younger. The worried expression on his mother’s face as he cried on her chest, confessing with terrible sadness and a broken heart that he had liked that guy more than he let known.

It was kind of embarrassing now. Of course it was like him to fall for the older guy of his dreams.

Whatever had happened, Ryan refused to believe Alexander was anything but alive and hopefully happy.

“Yo, can you imagine?” He heard Justin say suddenly, Ryan looked at him to find the man staring right back. “Ryan?”

“What?”

Lizz giggled, Steven shook his head. “Told you he wasn’t listening.” Zack murmured.

“That one day you dream again and the guy is there.” Justin repeated himself, Ryan blinked at the idea. “Older and all. Can you imagine if that ever happened?”

It would be a miracle.

* * *

The night of the comet was a nightmare to Shane.

Constantly, he woke up sweating with memories of it. Of the way his eyes burned when the light hit him for the first time, the world turning white before leaving him in complete darkness. That despair, how it slowly had become pitch black, the awareness of losing his sight, it could have easily driven him crazy and for days, he cried.

Nowadays he woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and cursing his luck and the comet.

They had called it Morpheus for The Bridge, because people somehow thought it a good thing, the fact that it had joined their minds with someone else’s. Shane sighed, passing a hand through his hair and he wished for morning to already come so teaching could distract him enough into forgetting the empty space he dreamed of when he wasn’t having nightmares.

_ You gotta contact your therapist _ , he heard a voice inside his head, a voice so familiar it calmed him down.  _ Get your shit together, man _ .

Shane caressed the corner of his left eye with one finger, eyes closed as he tried to think of anything else but the things he should be doing, the people he should be speaking to. Shane found himself thinking of the burns he had for a long time around his eyes, the way people would look away when they saw them on his face.

His finger traced the bag under his left eye, continuing its tender caress on his eyebrow.

The boy had asked him about the marks back then, when they were both children and shared the same space as they dreamt.

Back then, he went by Alex because his grandfather’s name was also Shane and he lived with them. He remembered, the boy called him Alexander instead of Alex once he got older, and Shane had put distance between them.

“Ryan.” He blinked, his name on his mouth sometimes calmed him down enough to go lay down again until he was tired enough to finally sleep again. 

It did nothing for him that night, and there was no Sara who would warm milk for him and talk to him until he fell asleep. 

The emptiness of his apartment without her kept him awake, and when he finally slept, the emptiness of his brian woke him up with nightmares. It was all a lose-lose situation for him.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Ryan had grown up to play basketball like he wanted, if he had found a good boyfriend, if he was happy. Their lost connection had done nothing for him but left him feeling like a shell, half a person, like something was amiss all the time and nobody had an answer for him but the fact that, somehow, his and Ryan’s connection had broken and he didn’t know enough to find him after.

Ironic, since he lived in this boy’s mind for years, since he knew Ryan’s deepest secrets and biggest aspirations, the movies he loved the most, the way he got all offended at the mention of being shorter than him, and how Shane had been the first person to know Ryan liked boys.

He tugged at his hair with both hands, fingers opening their way through the mess it was, massaging his scalp as Shane tried to calm down and just. stop. thinking.

* * *

Ryan often wondered what would be like to lose his sight.

He wondered if that made Alexander dislike him as he grew older.

Maybe he had grown up to understand what had happened when they were both children, that Alexander had to lose his sight in order to gain the Bridge while Ryan had been alright. 

Was that what shut down their connection?

He blinked a couple of times as the movie kept going, the sound the connection made before the characters saw each other in the same room was actually kind of funny. He remembered it like an echo, the… Sensation of the Bridge.

Underwater, echoing around his head as it felt warm but away from him, and yet he could remember the touch of Alexander’s hand on his, on his face, his hair. The sound of his laugh, the feeling of his laugh against his neck when Ryan would try to wrestle with him.

It had all been so real. No dream ever felt like that.

He couldn’t help but wonder if touching fingers across the stars could ever compare to the Bridge.

* * *

In the Bridge, the boy often asked Shane about his day and the things he liked.

He had been a friendly guy and sweet kid, and Shane cared about him, he truly did.

Which was why the second he realized that the thirteen years old kid had a crush on him, he had tried to put some distance between them. 

As he grew older, the distance became annoyance. Five years —almost five years, he could hear that voice saying— at thirty was nothing now, but back then at eighteen, it had been an abysm, one Shane wasn’t looking forward to navigating. Ignoring Ryan, putting distance between them, had been his best option.

Sometimes, as he gave his class or watched his students talk between them while walking around campus, Shane regretted it, wondering if that had something to do with the boy’s disappearance from his dreams.

Most times, he avoided thinking about it altogether.

* * *

“You had a crush on him?” Sara asked, feet on her chair as she hugged her legs to her chest. “For real?”

“Look, I’m not proud.” Ryan answered, seeing as the girls started to laugh again. “In my defense, he was the man of my dreams!”

They all laughed loudly, heads turning to see what was going on at As/Is’ area when Kelsey’s snorts made them all laugh louder, the girl covering her mouth as she continued to laugh while apologizing.

Ever since he talked for the first time about his past as a Bridged, everyone in the office had found out and constantly asked about it, sometimes even asking if he had dreamt again, giving him pitying looks and small smiles when he shook his head, all probably thinking the person on the other side was no longer in this world.

So, Ryan tried his best to dominate the conversation to his favor, trying to be the one talking about it, offering something so people would not ask anything else but what Ryan felt like sharing. 

At least with the girls he could talk about it like he prefered: as something strange yet happy, something that had happened to him when he least expected it, that had made his nights precious, and had made him into a believer more than the Queen Mary itself.

“I suppose it makes sense…” Sara murmured once the rest of the girls had gone to their seats, Ryan stayed there with her, talking. “I mean— I don’t know what to say now, Ryan.”

“It’s okay.” He said, sighing at her side. “It’s been so long, I actually feel weird saying these things.”

“Why?” She asked.

“Because…” Ryan tried to find the way to explain himself, he licked his lips before talking. “Look, I know the logical answer of what happened to our connection is… you know.”

She nodded, Ryan cleared his throat.

“But I just— I’m sure it’s not the case.” He said, Sara looked at him and blinked. Her pretty eyes looked bigger in her round glasses, Ryan couldn’t help but think of how lucky Kelsey was to have her. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I know. I know he is alright.”

His hand had landed on his chest as he talked. It often did when he tried to explain this to someone, because his heart was always into every word. It hurt, it jumped, it felt warm and tense all at the same time. But he knew, he knew right then and there that he was right.

“I believe that.” He finished, seeing as Sara seemed to consider his every word.

She didn’t say anything next, except for a tiny smile before nodding.

“You know, you and my roommate should have a talk.”

“Uh?”

Sara sighed, looking at him again with that same tiny, somehow hopeful smile.

“Nothing at all.”

Ryan stayed silent after the conversation, barely registering he needed to get back to his desk and send a few e-mails before going home. He waved goodbye to Kelsey and Sara as they left the office together, holding hands.

Had they finally moved in? He frowned, looking at his calendar to see if—yeah, their warm up party was just that weekend. Ryan shook his head, sighing as he went back to work. His distraction was taking a toll on him, and he still had a million things to do.

Maybe that was why sleeping that night came so easily, Ryan had fallen into such deep sleep the echo of a dream formed and brought him into a room he had never seen before.

Ryan blinked, looking around to find himself alone in a bar. It looked like a place he would like, there was a turned on TV in a corner where a baseball game was playing, but no barman in turn, music, or chatter, nobody around but him until the door opened.

A tall man came in, looking around as if he had been searching for something when his eyes landed on Ryan, sitting alone in the middle of the bar.

They stared at each other for what felt like forever, heart pounding fast and hard in his chest as he slowly stood from his chair, eyes wide open, mouth hanging and unable to say everything that was going through his head in that moment.

“Alexan—“

Ryan woke up with a kick.

* * *

It was easy to know when dreams were just that and when the Bridge had opened.

“So, are you gonna do this for me?” Sara asked once again, making Shane sigh as he tried to concentrate on grading the last test he had tortured kids with. “Please?”

“I don’t know.” He was honest. “Sara, I just…”

He had told her before, how uncomfortable it made him to talk about Night Zero and how scared he had been during those days he spent in the dark. Talking about the Bridge and his experience with it always brought back memories of it, so maybe being on a video about this wasn’t exactly the best of ideas.

Especially now that the Bridge had changed out of nowhere and Shane had a whole strange cowboy-like town to explore. 

“Look. It’s fine.” Sara said after a while. “I understand, I shouldn’t had—”

“Maybe I can talk just a little bit about it.” He said, looking at her. Her eyes were full of light, hopeful with the possibility. “But just about the Bridge, nothing else.”

“Of course!” She answered, clapping her hands together. “I promise, I just want you to say something about how the Bridge feels and if you think the way it's portrayed in a few movies is accurate.”

Shane nodded at the plan, listening to Sara’s video pitch while imagining what it would be like to film for her. It didn’t sound so bad, knowing he’ll be watching a few scenes from movies he has already seen at least once in his life, just to say if he thought it accurate or not to his experience with dreams.

It sounded easy, it felt okay to say yes to it and see her smile so happily.

He watched her talk about it, saw as she doodled on a spare sheet he had given her as she waited for Kelsey to come pick her up, and suddenly Shane realized his attraction to her had molded into something else.

Like it had come, it had gone too: slowly, in silence, so calm and natural, he hadn’t realized until a random moment one afternoon.

She was beautiful, but he no longer wished for kisses. The way his heart felt every time she spoke of Kelsey wasn’t hurtful anymore, he found himself genuinely smiling and hoping these two would be happy in every step, that both knew how lucky they were to have each other, that they deserved the other.

To suddenly realize all this made him think of his empty apartment and the way his students would ask every Friday if he had plans, if he would like to grab a drink sometime near campus, if he had ever thought of marriage and soulmates, and things that become so intimate, nobody in the world but you and that person could understand.

He went to bed with all those thoughts and woke up to the empty town again, sighing as he looked around to find nothing but the strange light it was under.

As he walked, he decided to check the bar once and for all, being it the biggest place in the little town. 

There was a man sitting in the middle of it, nobody else and no other sound but his own breathing and a sports game on a TV. He watched him stand as his eyes opened wide, and his heart suddenly hurt. It hurt as if it was being squeezed, and Shane held himself together, forgetting how to breathe when the man finally spoke.

“Alexan—”

He woke up with ragged breathing and sweat on his forehead.

Shane looked at the sheets, trying his best to regulate his breath and calm his heart down. His knuckles looked white where he was grabbing so hard at the bedsheets, and Shane swallowed looking at his digital clock that marked two in the morning.

Was that—  _ could it be _ ?

* * *

“It changed?” The man asked, frowning at Ryan when he spoke. “Like, it changed location?”

“Yes.” Ryan answered, starting to grow tired of this conversation but his doctor immediately made a note and made a sign for him to keep talking. “And I saw Alexander again.”

“Uhm.” The doctor exclaimed, leaving his notes aside to look directly at Ryan. “Never heard of something like this, perhaps it would be more convenient for you to visit—“

Ryan spent days going in and out doctors and tests, listening to people talk about his unusual condition with the Bridge, yet he didn’t dream again for that first week.

If he wasn’t aware of how different a normal dream felt from the bridge, he would have swore it had been just a desperate fantasy of his brain.

Alexander had grown up into his looks. 

He remembered him skinnier, goofy looking in a way, hair shorter and an ugly mustache he could barely grow. But his Bridge was a man now.

The facial hair on his face made him look exactly like what Ryan would go for in a bar, his hair was longer, his body had gained form and he had become all legs. Nice legs for what he could see. Alexander was somehow taller now.

Ryan couldn’t help but wonder how  _ he was _ now. Was the guy still shy and sweet? Was he still saying the worst jokes that absolutely made him laugh no matter what? He had been serious, surprised. Who was him now?

He could remember himself asking all these questions while growing up. The idea of having the chance to have an answer almost didn’t occur to him as he realized, finally, at least he knew Alexander was alive.

* * *

Ryan didn’t appear in his dream for at least two weeks before it happened again, this time they just stared at each other, until his Bridge talked at least.

“I thought you were dead.”

He never liked to think about it.

But Shane would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of it, of the very reasonable possibility of this man being dead since their connection had appeared broken. Shane sat down at the same table he saw him the last time, and finally looked at him directly.

“Well, I’m not.” Shane answered. “I see you aren’t either.”

There was a tiny smile on his face. His very, very handsome face. “Maybe I’m a ghost.”

“Oh, dear lord.” Shane sighed, Ryan chuckled in front of him and they laughed together.

He cleared his throat and nodded. “A product of my imagination, maybe.”

“Your imagination? Really? I think the two of us know perfectly well what this is.” He suggested, a funny look on his face. “I’m still not convinced you aren't a ghost, sir.”

Shane smiled at him, offering his hand like that first time. “Go nutts, pal.”

The man chuckled but moved right away, hand going to Shane’s in the middle of the table. Once again like that first time, Ryan extended his middle finger, touching Shane’s with the tip, slowly moving the rest of his hand to fit on Shane’s.

When their hands touched completely for the first time in so many years again, Shane couldn’t help but smile. The echo of Ryan’s touch was warmth as ever, solid and real like the taste of coffee at first hour in the morning: reviving, fresh in spite of its warmth, and—

“Shit, I never thought I’d see you again!”

And  _ necessary _ .

Shane swallowed, nodding his head as he finally recognized the voice in his head he had been heard all those years ago.

It had always been Ryan.

* * *

As a child, every time he spoke of Alexander to anyone, he got people giving him a certain look.

Back then, he assumed people thought him a wacko and it wasn’t until he was older that reality hit with a big of a blush: everyone and their mother had noticed he had a crush on the older guy.

It was the strangest thing, really, to suddenly be reunited in a dream with the guy that made him realize he was into guys as well as into women and others. This was, after all, someone he never thought he’d seen again.

He remembers crying on his mother about losing the connection, growing up wondering, having firsts he wouldn’t share with his old friend, seeing the way the world changed every passing year, and now this.

Ryan sighed, watching his own hand for god knows what time in the past few days. Even that little touch had felt so strange, like something that was missing was finally there and he had no name for it.

_ “God almighty, are you in love already? You don’t even know him!”  _ His brother had said and he was right, Ryan knew he was, and yet.

Yet here he was.

“It’s not like that,” he told Steven and Brent as he explained himself again. He took a sip of his beer and gave a quick look around, their co-workers and friends, and friends of the girls he didn’t know, had gathered nicely in Sara and Kelsey’s new apartment.

The girls themselves were busy with people and gifts, and Ryan thought once again of the succulent he had got for Sara and the star shaped lights he got for Kelsey, wondering if he had made a good call. He sighed again.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s not like that. I’m not in love with him or anything.”

“You are infatuated!” Brent concluded. “That’s fine, you literally discovered your dorky crush became hot.” 

“You guys are the worst…” Ryan swallowed, Steven only offered a kind smile. “I guess… I just missed seeing him.”

“Well, they say people who are Bridged do have a real bond nobody can really understand.” Steven murmured at him, almost as if he didn’t want Brent to hear him. Ryan grimaced back when he saw Brent roll his eyes and walk away to grab a beer for himself. “Part of you missed that. Like… it was incomplete somehow.”

“Yeah.” Ryan answered after a while. “Yeah, I mean— yeah.”

Steven wasn’t wrong. It was still a weird thing to feel for someone he essentially didn’t know.

He kept passing from the living room to the dining area, talking to others and laughing with his friends. Sara called to him, but before he could reach her, she was on the phone and Ryan stayed nearby, looking as she walked into the little kitchen. He followed her with a frown when he saw certain apprehension in her face, as if something was wrong.

“I swear to god, I can’t believe you!” Sara yelled into her phone, Ryan took a long sip of his beer and kept waiting as she walked in circles. “I don’t care you have a million tests to check, you said you—“

Whoever she was talking to, they better show themselves or else this little feisty woman was about to end their life and if he was to witness, he wouldn’t be ratting his friend out. She seemed to calm down, sighing as her shoulders went down and she crossed an arm under her chest.

“Alright, just make sure to come.” She said after a while. “Just come, sleepyhead.”

Sara sighed, turning around as she put down her phone and looked at him, shrugging when he moved his head to one side to ask if everything was right. Ryan smiled and walked to her.

“Everything alright?”

“Ugh,” She rolled her eyes, “yeah— I was just excited to introduce you to my old roommate, I’m sure you dorks would be good friends.”

“Sara?” Ryan crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you trying to hook me up with one of your nerd friends again?”

“My nerd friends are better than the douchebags you always end up picking at the bar!” She accused, finger up and all, as she walked away from the kitchen, leaving Ryan laughing behind her. He walked out too, following her around the house. “Besides, he's a pretty cool and chill guy. Like sure, he is nerdy, but it’s exactly like you.”

“What does that mean?”

“He likes weird movies nobody else likes, he’s obsessed with weird facts and spooky shit even though he is a non-believer—”

“Psss…” Ryan shook his head, Sara narrowed her eyes at him. “Not happening then.”

“Opposite attracks!” Sara declared, making him laugh again. “God, you should see the way he is so fucking obsessed with homemade popcorn, I won’t be able to stand the two of you together, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to do if it means you two get along and are happy.”

“So you ARE hooking me up!”

“Oh, please!”

He laughed again, wondering why the thought of meeting someone made him feel a little weird, almost guilty, as if by doing so he was betraying—

What? What was he betraying? 

Ryan sighed, unable to understand once again what he was feeling.

* * *

“Look,” Shane took off his glasses and sighed, looking at his student as the girl frowned with a worried expression, “I can’t really do much to help you more.”

“But, Mr. Madej— I swear, I tried to but—”

“I know.” He licked between his lips, shoulders feeling heavy as hell. 

Dia Johnsson was a good student, pretty intelligent and creative, but lately her dreams had kept her from coming in time and putting attention to class as she should.

It was well known that to wake up someone in the middle of a Bridge was dangerous for the brain, causing damage and trauma it was better to avoid at all cost. Miss Johnsson had a connection to a boy her age in Europe and it kept her literally dreaming for far too long.

“I understand.” Shane added. “But, if I give you a special assignment or even let you take the test again, shouldn’t I allow all the others who are Bridged the same chances? Miss Johnsson, you’ll have to work on a pretty good final essay if you want to at least pass. Do you think you can do that?”

The girl’s cheeks were red as her nose, eyes watering a little and Shane felt guilty at the sight. He was about to give in when she nodded.

“Can I…?” She swallowed visibly, but looked up at his face again. “Can I send my draft to you, Mr. Madej?” Shane nodded. “Thank you! I’ll do my best.”

“I know you’ll do great, Miss Johnsson.” He smiled at her, the girl took back her test from his desk and waved goodbye as she left his little office.

His head was throbbing. 

Dia Johnsson wasn’t the only one having trouble with dreams. After days of not seeing Ryan again, he had come back to his dreams almost daily like when they were younger, asking questions and trying to know more of him and his whereabouts.

In a way, he wanted Ryan to know everything about him and find him. Meeting would be something extraordinary in his boring, ordinary life. But at the same time, the idea of the man being real was—it was almost  _ too much _ . Terrifying in a way he couldn’t explain, definitely in a way Sara wasn’t pleased to hear.

She had looked at him worried and unconvinced when he mentioned the man of his dreams to her during her warm-up party after she called him out for coming so late, the guy she had wanted to introduce to him had left. Shane wondered if she was all for him not meeting Ryan solely because she had already envisioned him with her working friend.

After all, she was the most stubborn woman he had ever met, the prize of the most stubborn person of them all was still Ryan’s.

“We should meet.” He had repeated at least thrice that week, the words that separated them back in the day. Shane shook his head. “I don’t know why you don’t want to! It’s not like if I’m a serial killer or something.”

“Oh sure, saying that is totally all I need to know you are so not a serial killer.”

“Hey, If I were, I would have already found out where you live and your complete name.”

Shane had swallowed then, looking back at him as they drank in the dream. Food and drinks weren’t real, but they felt so while in the Bridge. He looked at his face as Ryan tried to correct himself but Shane talked first.

“It’s Madej.” He had answered, and he was still wondering why he had given that information. “Actually, I go by my first name now.”

“Oh?” Ryan moved his head to one side. “Which is?”

“Shane.” He cleared his throat. “Shane Alexander Madej.”

Ryan smiled, wide and bright, he was truly a gorgeous man and Shane felt his cheeks redden. 

“Well, Mr. Madej— The name’s Bergara on my end. Ryan Steven Bergara.”

“Uhm,” Shane closed his eyes as he memorized the name, shooking his head before he said, “don’t call me that! Only my students call me that.”

“Students?” Ryan repeated, Shane opened his eyes and realized he had once again revealed something about himself. “You are a teacher?”

Which was when he said to himself… fuck it.

Shane shook his head in the present, thinking of all things he had told Ryan just the night before, his occupation (but not the university) and where he came from (but not where he lived now), and what he had majored in. The little guy offered answers of his own in exchange, and suddenly he had an image of who this man was, how he had come to be this guy in front of him.

That had been born in the city he lived in.

“Are you…?” 

Ryan looked up that night on the Bridge, curious as ever for Shane’s words. “What?”

“Do you still live in Los Angeles?” 

The man chuckled, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you, big guy. You don’t wanna meet and don’t wanna tell me where you live, but still ask me where I hang my coat.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Yeah.” He answered anyway. “I live in Tinsel Town.”

Shane blinked a couple of times, reaching for the bourbon between them to serve drinks for both. They had moved now to the bar, the place completely empty for the two of them. Before he could say anything else, Ryan was talking some more.

“Do you find this place weird?” He said, looking around.

“What do you mean?”

“Never heard of a Bridge in a Ghost Town…”

“Is everything ghosts for you?” Shane asked with a smile, passing a glass to Ryan who rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over this already, Ryan, ghosts don’t exist.”

“You know what I mean, you dumb shit!”

Shane laughed, nodding as he took the glass to his lips and savored the dream-alcohol. Sometimes, when he woke up, he could swear he felt the flavor on his lips. In reality, he knew it was impossible. Yet, the bond made everything in the world seem likely.

Except ghosts.

“You don’t like cowboys?” Shane asked, Ryan moved his head to one side. “I admit the first time I had this dream and walked into this bar, I thought some kind of porno was about to happen.”

“What?” Ryan frowned, Shane laughed at his face. “What the hell are you talking about? Do cowboys make you hard?”

“All cowboys are gay, Ryan.” Shane declared, matter of factly. “I’m a teacher, I don’t get much action. I have weird yet pleasing dreams.”

“Ugh, gross!” Ryan left his glass on the counter, making Shane giggle at his disgust. “I can’t with you, dude, I really can’t.” 

Shane shook his head, smiling as he watched Ryan fake-furiously drink his bourbune as he murmured something about porn and ruined childhoods. This guy… he was adorable. Had grown up to be a handsome man, but his personality shone brighter than his looks, making him the kind of dream Shane didn’t want to wake up from.

For all the fear he felt of the idea of meeting, Shane felt like he wanted to more and more with every passing second, every passing Bridge.

“I’ve missed you.” Ryan said, the silence that had stretched between them minutes ago never uncomfortable. “Like… I thought about you a lot.”

“Me, too.” Shane confessed. “I thought the worst.”

Ryan nodded, the understanding between them made Shane believe for a second the so-called connection was real in every romantic and sentimental way people often thought. He looked at Ryan looking at him, the millions of days passing by as they thought of each other were crystal clear to him in them, and Shane wondered if the most ormantic interpretation of all this was true.

Soulmates. Could any of that be real? Souls that came from one, put in two bodies, finally connected by a Comet in some sort of modern fairy tale.

“I’m glad you are back.” Shane smiled, Ryan did so back, brighter and wider.

“I’m glad you are back in my life, big guy.”

* * *

“Do you think we are soulmates?” 

It had been one of the first questions Ryan ever made to Shane, and the boy had looked at him with a frown that made his face look funny. The marks around his eyes had faded, the days had come to be normal for the two of them and almost without notice, it had been seven months since they met in the Bridge.

The boy didn’t seem to mind most of Ryan’s questions, he usually even said he liked his curiosity, but that day, he had been quiet.

“I don’t think that’s a thing, Ryan.” Shane said, back then he was still Alex to him and Ryan remembered liking to write down his name on his notebooks. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“My aunt says people that dream with each other are soul mates!” He explained, Shane’s face changed to one of understanding. “What?”

“It’s nothing…” He smiled at him. “You know, aunts are always saying a lot of things, but not all of them are true… Look, I think we were connected for a reason, we just don’t know yet what reason is that.”

“And what if she is right? You just say we don’t know what the reason is. What if the reason is because we are made of the same soul?”

Shane had looked almost frustrated at Ryan’s words. Back then, he had been a stubborn little child and Shane an impatient little brother that didn't know how to deal with those younger than him. 

They had crashed since the beginning, both being very different from the start, and yet it had all worked out.

“I don’t think souls are made of the same, Ryan.” Shane tried to explain. “I mean, I guess they are made of the same things, biologically speaking, if they are tangible or something. What I mean, there must be something that makes each unique. Two souls that are the same would be… the same person? I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Ryan had said anything else after, too confused to fight the boy back. As he grew older, he avoided talking about it with his dream companion until he disappeared and the doubt became bigger. Yet, Ryan kept it all to himself.

He never said a peep, not even to his therapist. Until now.

“Do you… do you think that Bridged people are soulmates?”

Ryan watched his mother’s reaction carefully, praying to all gods who wanted to listen that she wouldn’t read between words because shit was already confusing as it was, he couldn’t add Mom Wants Grandchildren to the equation any time soon.

But she was always the understanding party, and her eyes showed just that when she looked back at him with a sweet smile.

“Are you thinking about your friend again?”

He hadn’t told anyone but his doctor about Shane, about the two weeks they’ve been talking since that night he came back into his life.

“Yeah…” He said. It wasn’t a lie, hopefully his mother would understand he wasn’t prepared to fully spill his guts just yet. “I think I told you before…” He looked down, hearing as his mother went back to cut their vegetables. “That sometimes I feel like a hole in my chest, usually when something reminds me of him or the dreams. My therapist says most Bridged people report back about feeling bonded to their Bridge, so…”

“Uhumm.” She exclaimed, passing him the vegetables. Ryan carefully spilled them into the pot and smiled at the smell. “I’ve heard of that. Also a common plot point in romantic novels, you know?”

Ryan chuckled, shaking his head as he remembered his mom’s love for romantic books. She sent him for a glass of water, sitting down on the kitchen’s table where she took her phone and looked through it until Ryan sat in front, passing the glass to her.

“I think it’s something very special that your mind can be on tune with someone else’s.” She said, “I’m not about to pretend I know what you feel, Ryan. God knows I was terrified those first months when your dreams wouldn’t go away and everyone in the news was saying it was happening to many around the world.”

He nodded, sometimes to think back so many years ago was… strange. It felt unreal.

“But you were okay and that was all that mattered to me.” His mother said, making Ryan smile a little. “I don’t know if there are soul mates, Ry. But I think you meet someone and you can connect to them in ways you may with others but never all at once. You understand?”

“Not really…”

“Like, you feel they are your best friend but at the same time, the person you would like to slap sometimes. Or compete against to, or with. And in every little detail, you find a way to connect, even in the things you don’t agree with, because having an opposite opinion strengthens your belief or makes you question it to the point you can form a better opinion yourself.” 

She sighed. 

“Look at what your father and I have. We make it work, everyone has their own ways. Maybe we were made for each other, maybe we just hold onto each other. Either way, whoever you chose because they make your soul feel light and found, that’s the one.”

“The One.” Ryan repeated, looking at her with a smile. His mother always knew the answers to everything, it was a universally accepted thing he knew since he was a child. “Thanks, mom.”

Can he have feelings beyond lust and curiosity for someone in such a short period of time? The same question went around his head as he watched Shane talking about his ordinary life at night, in a dream none of them knew how to control or change, that had brought them back together after separating them for years.

He saw the way his mouth moved, mesmerized by the fact that he found him so attractive and he wasn’t trying any of his bad moves to flirt, like if being attracted to him was only natural and something that has been happening to him for a while and not only a couple of weeks.

Shane went quiet and still for a second or two every time Ryan touched him, looking at him before he continued rambling or started to laugh. He didn’t ask what was that about often, but when he did, he seemed okay with Ryan’s dismissals of bugs and dirt, and Ryan was sure he must know it wasn’t the case.

He must know, just like Ryan knew, that touching him was almost like a necessity at this point. That he needed him to be real and solid, tangible to his fingers as he was to his eyes and his heart.

It was exactly that thought that constantly drove Ryan to ask to meet. Because if somehow, somewhere in the universe they had been put together because this burning feeling in his chest and belly meant more than dreams and words, he wanted to have it.

He wanted to touch it and savor it, and have it for the rest of his life if only Shane would be so kind.

* * *

Shane was fucked.

He was so, so, so  _ fucked _ .

“Weird question--”

“All your questions are weird, Shane.”

“UNCOMFORTABLE question…” Shane said instead, Ryan rolled his eyes but stayed quiet to hear. “Do you think sex during the Bridge is like food? When you wake up, it didn’t really happen but it felt like it did?”

“I mean…” Ryan’s eyes opened wide, no doubt thinking serious of this. Shane’s heart hurt a little. “I guess! If you come and stuff, maybe you come in real life too?”

“In your pants?”

“Ugh,” Ryan made a face, “I hate coming in pants…”

This was, by all means, not their weirdest conversation. Shane smiled at Ryan as he kept talking on why it was terrible to come while asleep, he couldn’t help but only watch as the man’s mouth moved. 

Ryan was carefree, relayed on Shane in a way nobody had before, he was the only person who seemed to not care of Shane’s weirdest little bits and questions, and it was truly unfair that he would feel this way for someone he hadn’t seen in so long, someone he was just meeting.

Because it felt unreal. 

Was it this way because it was a dream? Did every other Bridged person felt like him for their dream partners? 

Shane tried to remember every news outlet, interview and article he ever read on the matter, the way the connections were always different to all people, the similar stuff just like it would be for any relationship in real life.

Bridged people tended to be strangers, but there were Bridged siblings and best friends, platonic partners and more than two people in the same connection, of all identities and preferences, there was no limit for the Bridge it seemed and it had everyone baffled yet enamoured with the idea of such an intimate connection.

In all the years Shane hadn’t seen Ryan, he tried not to think of it as such. That the empty espace he always felt could as well be the missing connection in his dreams, but having been here now for just two weeks—that little emptiness hadn’t been as present as before.

“We should meet!” Ryan insisted, and Shane was starting to believe it was the best of ideas. “I mean it, big guy. We should meet.”

* * *

_ It burns! It BURNS! _

Ryan woke up with a knot in his throat, shocked and breathing heavy.

It had been a while since he last had a nightmare like this, especially now that Shane was back in his dreams and to dream had started to be the best part of his day. He swallowed, putting a hand on his forehead as he lay down on his bed again, looking at the ceiling.

Should he ask? If this was what Shane went through? His head had made up a scenario where he got to see Shane’s experience when getting the Bridge. Ryan had been lucky enough to not be burned, but Shane…

Before, when he was younger, Ryan was sure that was the reason Shane sometimes seemed to not like him. And after all those dreams, Ryan was sure he didn’t blame the guy if that was the case.

_ I can’t see! I can’t see! I CAN’T SEE! _

He shook his head. Those thoughts never lead to anything good.

“What?” Shane asked days later when the Bridge connected them again and Ryan was finally able to tell him about the nightmares. “What do you mean, Ryan?”

“I just…” He sighed, moving the glass he didn’t remember how he got between his hands. “I keep having these dreams where I’m a boy that is definitely not me, and I think it’s you… It’s Night Zero, and I can’t see.”

Shane blinked, like trying to take in the information, understand what Ryan was saying.

“My eyes are… burning. And I can’t see.”

After what felt like forever, Shane looked away and visibly swallowed.

“Yeah.” He said, passing a hand over his mouth. “That’s me, I guess.”

Ryan nodded, “I think I just… I thought maybe you hated me a little for that.” Shane looked at him, Ryan swallowed but kept going. “Like, to gain this connection, you had to go blind for days… and I didn’t.”

“I guess…” Shane sighed, “I guess maybe I did when I was a kid, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You don’t like talking about it.”

Shane looked at him for long seconds. He wasn’t sure how he knew this, but Ryan knew exactly why Shane did many of the things he did and say. Many times he felt this way, as if the answers to his own questions he made to the man in front of him were whispered into his head before he heard his voice.

It was… confusing.

“No, I don’t.”

Ryan nodded, hoping a change of subject may be better for the two of them, but a question was still burning him inside. He had wanted to ask Shane about it since week two, and three months in, he wondered if adding more tension to the moment was a good idea.

Too bad Ryan was never afraid of bad ideas.

“Shane?” He murmured, the guy looked at him as if expecting things to go south. “Do you still not believe in soulmates?”

He didn’t answer, only looked at Ryan for what felt like forever, as if the image had frozen on this. On them sitting at the bar with empty glasses, looking at each other in complete silence.

Ryan looked down as he fake laughed, ready to say he was joking, when he heard Shane move from his seat. Afraid to have him gone, Ryan looked up with his mouth open about to say something when lips were on his, and his eyes opened wide because this was--

_ Real _ .

It felt real.

The warmth of Shane’s lips as he softly kissed him, the way his breathing caressed his face and made Ryan close his eyes, hand cupping Shane’s face, keeping him close. He was real and solid right in that moment as his tongue gently coaxed Ryan’s mouth open, exploring with a moan, getting closer.

He felt Shane’s arms around his waist, his hands on his lower back, each movement of his mouth and the taste of him, his smell, the little shiver going up his body.

“We should meet.” Shane said for the first time, Ryan let out of all the air in his lungs, opening his eyes to see Shane looking at him.

Even if soulmates weren’t real, whatever they were was.

* * *

Sara was going to kill him. That was clear as day as Kelsey shook his head to him from a distance, getting out of their living room and into the kitchen. Shane swallowed and pretended to be busy with the pictionary marker.

“Don’t you ignore me, Shane A. Madej, I lived with you for years, I know when you are avoiding the ugly truth!”

“What am I avoiding now?” He asked, faking offense in order to go for the fun and survive. “I have no idea what you are talking about, lady.”

“Why don't you want to meet my friend, mister?”

Shane swallowed. Sara’s matchmaking skills were scary, she was incredibly good and Shane may be an idiot to pass of them, but—

“If you mention the bitch of your dreams, I’m throwing Obi AND Chewie on your face!”

“Why would you throw my sweet child on my face?!” 

“Shane!”

Kelsey stopped in her tracks after hearing her girlfriend scream, she looked between them and then only at Shane with pity in her eyes, waving at him as she walked away into the hallway, probably to her studio or bedroom. Shane was in for a blast.

He sighed, swallowing as he looked at Sara with his lips made into a line.

“I’m sorry,” Shane started, “I know you wanted me to meet this person, but I’m actually going to meet Ryan this weekend, so…”

“I’m going to murder you if you do, you are not ditching Kelsey for a guy you don’t know!”

Shane frowned, “Wha…”

“It’s her birthday on Saturday, moron!”

“Oh!” Well, fuck. “Oh shit, the tiki bar!”

“I can’t believe you—”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll cancel with him! I’m just gonna tell him to move it to Sunday. Holy shit, I’m so sorry.”

Sara looked at him for a long time, her face was made into a frown he didn’t like and he felt guilty for it. She was a beautiful woman, she didn’t deserve to be made into a tiny ball of nerves and anger. When she sighed, Shane could almost taste the disappointment in the air and he felt guilty again.

“You know what?” She started, clearing her throat before looking at him again. “You are an adult and you know what you are doing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m sorry I kept ruining your plans for us to meet.”

She shook her head. “If it’s not meant to be, it won’t be!” She smiled, seeming resigned to the fact. He blinked a couple of times before returning her smile and sighing, finally feeling lighter. “You’re gonna probably see him on Saturday anyway, Kelsey invited him to the bar. Though, he did say he had other plans already, so who knows.”

His tongue felt heavy for reasons unknown to him, but Shane tried a smile as he repeated her words in a tin voice: “If it’s not meant to be, it won’t be…”

_ If it’s not meant to be, it won’t be. _

* * *

Shane couldn’t make it to their meeting because of course he would not.

Ryan had stood there, nodding as he heard the excuses and looked at Shane’s red cheeks and the way the man kept scratching the back of his head, and he had never wished so badly to be able to control the bond and run.

The confusion in his head boiled to anger and Ryan managed a few answers for the rest of the night. He wasn’t sure of how long the Bridge had been that day, but he woke up feeling tired and way too early for work.

The rest of the day wasn’t good, nor was it the rest of the week. When Kelsey reminded him of her birthday reunion at the tiki bar, Ryan felt some sort of gratitude at the idea of alcohol, happily accepting the invitation this time, grimacing at Sara who reminded him he could finally meet her friend now.

Ryan wondered if it could be possible to continue with his life and date while having to see Shane at night for the rest of it. The question followed until Saturday night as he dressed up and came into the bar, lights and chatter loud enough to take away his mind for a little while.

His friends greeted him happily, Kelsey running into his arms as he told her happy birthday, giving her a little gift while she sent him into a seat near Zack and Steven.

“You look like death would be kinder!” Zack said, Ryan felt like punching him but only nodded slightly. “And what a mood!”

“It’s everything alright?” Steven asked next, Ryan looked at him and nodded. “Sore throat?”

“No, it’s just…” He sighed. “It’s really nothing. I actually think I’m just being kind of dramatic.”

“When aren’t you?” He heard Brent said somewhere in the table, a fried fry flayed across it and landed between his eyes, making everyone laugh as Brent complained about it. “Very funny, Sara!”

“You gotta stop giving shit to Ryan, dude. We love Ryan.” Maya said, making Ryan smile a little when she looked at him. “Are you alright, papi?”

“I’m fine, mami.” He answered, sighing. “But I need a drink!”

* * *

Shane was sure Ryan hated him at this point, and he didn’t blame him.

But he had already made plans with Kelsey and she was as important as a sibling. She was Sara’s girlfriend, which made her family, and maybe one day Ryan would understand.

Maybe, if it was really meant to be, he would know one day.

He looked at the city as his Lyft drove him to the bar, sighing as he thought of the many times he wanted to ask the guy for his phone number but never did. Texting him tonight could save him if just a little, and he wondered if Ryan would give it to him if he saw him tonight as they dreamt.

Or maybe, he wouldn’t be able to find him in his dreams again, like many years ago.

* * *

“Where is that bitch?!” Ryan heard Sara said and he hid behind Brent as his friends laughed. “Ryan!”

“Why are you hiding?” Hannah asked, looking at him as she wrinkled her nose.

“She was to introduce me to her friend, you know what that means…”

He heard the rest of the girls giggle, Steven shook his head and looked ahead, probably wanting to see who the friend Sara was talking about was. He saw his friend smile, moving his head in some sort of approval, then looked back at Ryan.

“It’s not bad.” He announced, everyone looked at the bar immediately and Ryan sighed. “He looks like a hot puppet.”

“A what?” Ryan frowned. “Steven!”

“No, he is not… wrong…” Maya murmured, “He looks cute but… yeah, he looks like a puppet. In a good way.”

“There’s a good way to look like a puppet?” Ella asked aloud. “Screw you, he’s hot! He is hot Ryan, your kind of hot. Looks like a professor with his glasses and all!”

Ryan shook his head again, holding himself together but still spilling a little of his drink when someone pushed him from behind Brent, dragging him into the middle of the circle they had formed. He sighed, looking back to find Zack pretending he didn’t know shit, he was really more of a child when Justin wasn’t around and oh, how he missed him.

He heard Sara asking for him again, and swallowed before stepping out to meet her. She smiled bright, taking his wrist to walk between people towards the bar where Kelsey talked to someone sitting in front of her, when a laugh made him stop.

“Ryan?” he heard Sara ask, but his mind was elsewhere.

Was he delusional after all this time? Ryan swallowed, looking around until he heard Shane’s voice again, and his eyes found themselves scanning between people until they landed on Kelsey standing to hug the person in front of her, and there—

“Ry… Ryan!”

* * *

(01:24 AM): Hi

_ (01:24 AM): Hi! _

(01:24 AM): It’s Shane

_ (01:25 AM): I know. It’s Ryan! _

(01:25 AM): I know, silly

_ (01:32 AM): See you in a few? Gotta catch up on some zz’s _

(01:33 AM): I hope so

It was nice meeting you

_ (01:34 AM): It was! Can’t wait for coffee tomorrow _

_ In a few hours? Oh whatever, you get me _

_ You do. _

(01:35 AM): I do?

_ (01:35 AM): Mhm _

_ But don’t get too cocky, we still got a way to get through _

(01:36 AM): Oh baby. Tell that to the way you kiss me

_ (01:37 AM): I will kiss you some more, sir _

_ Get your ass to bed and close your eyes, i’ll kiss you more _

(01:37 AM): Looking forward to it, baby

* * *

In spite of everything, Shane couldn’t sleep that night.

There was… way too much in his head to just close his eyes and disconnect from the world.

He kept thinking of Ryan and how he had appeared in front of him at the bar, looking just a tiny bit tipsy, wide eyes shining in a curious mix of surprise and annoyance, asking Kelsey to please let him step in.

Shane hadn’t moved from his seat at the bar, unable to speak or even blink, wondering if he was seeing things or was he already dreaming. In a second, the noise of the tiki bar was gone, he could barely hear the baseball game on the TV under his head, and all his eyes could centrate on was Ryan’s face, very much real, very much there.

“R—“

This time, Ryan had taken him by surprise, holding tight onto his shirt and pushing him forward until their lips crashed together.

His teeth hurt but the sensation of Ryan’s mouth, his scent and body pressed against his couldn’t compare to the dream. His arms went around his waist, hands holding onto his sides as Shane responded to his desperate kiss the best he could, letting him explore his mouth, moaning a little before needing air.

Shane leaned his forehead on Ryan’s, breathing deeply before looking at him.

The little guy’s eyes were still closed and he could see how it all was starting to settle as his face relaxed and his eyes opened slowly, looking at Shane’s face as if he couldn’t still believe he was there.

He touched his face, Shane smiled as Ryan’s hand caressed his cheek carefully and played with his beard. He’ll purr if he was a cat, instead he smiled wide and goofy, happy to be there.

“You are Sara’s friend…” He murmured, Shane frowned and looked at him, then at Sara and Kelsey with their eyes wide open, looking confused and out of place. “Oh god, you should see your face!”

His face hurt from smiling the entire night, Shane passed a hand on his beard as the memory of what happened played over and over again in his head.

Explaining everything to Sara and Kelsey had been something, seeing their friends laugh and make their guests and bets on if this was destiny, a deep bond, or a mer and cool coincidence had been something else, and now he wished he could sleep.

For the first time in so long, Shane wanted to sleep and dream, because none of this felt like a casual thing anymore.

Maybe if soul mates existed, Ryan and Shane were it.

His phone vibrated on his night table, and when Shane saw Ryan’s name on his screen, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Can’t sleep?”

_ “Not at all!” _

Shane chuckled, sighing before sitting on his bed, preparing to stand if everything went well as he hoped.

“Wanna meet?”

_ “Yes! Please, come over!” _

* * *

The Bridge had changed again, sometime between year two and three, after they moved together and Ryan’s mom had started to call Shane her son, claiming him for some holidays to help in the kitchen and facetime them when they traveled to Illinois for other occasions.

In their dream, they shared a house none of them had ever been in.

Photos of stories told and lived together adorned the walls, a grey cat lived in the small couch of the living room, while a dog barked in a backyard, sometimes getting in to lay at Shane’s feet when they simply appeared sitting together in the bigger couch.

Yet, they barely dreamt now.

His therapist had suggested the possibility of their real life ruining being the cause, as if the brain knew they were together now, and there was no necessity to bring them into their dreams. It had been a relief to sleep with Shane at his side, and the nights when they did dream of each other, none of them could stop giggling and smiling the next day when they woke up to their faces.

Which was why when Ryan saw Shane came from upstairs that night in the Bridge, Ryan couldn’t help but smile.

“Seriously?” He said. “Not even a day apart and here we are.”

“Don’t blame me, I never asked for this!” The man answered, his silly tone always so funny and somehow adorable.

“God, I miss your dorky ass.” He stood up, crossing the living room to run into Shane’s waiting arms at the bottom of the stairs. The man hugged him to his chest, strong and tall, exactly what Ryan wanted. “Are they giving you as much shit as mine are giving me?”

“Absolutely. Is it a good family if they don’t make you want to puke the night before your wedding?”

Ryan chuckled, closing his eyes as Shane kissed his forehead. He sighed, leaning forward to kiss Shane’s collarbone, making the man giggle.

“You know? I think it’s just fitting to meet here again before our wedding.” Shane said, smiling down at Ryan when he moved his head in a curious gesture. “This is where we met first, where we kissed first, I dreamed you with me and then I got you.”

“Oh god…” Ryan groaned, feeling his heart beating fast. “You are so gonna mop the floor with my vows, I knew I should have paid Sara to write mine!”

Shane laughed, the vibrations of his made Ryan open his eyes and look at that handsome face he loved, the one of the man of his dreams. He looked down, a sweet smile on his tin lips as his hand caressed Ryan’s face with just the tip of his fingers, bumping his nose and making him giggle.

“I love you so much, mate.”

“I love you too, mate.” Ryan answered, getting on his tiptoes to kiss him.

He could feel Shane’s smile against his lips, the sensation of kissing him in dreams never old, never strange.

They laughed together after, hugging again as they let the dream embrace them.

Once, when Ryan was a child, something special happened. His mind was connected to Shane’s in an event nobody could explain and only them could understand. It had been magical, a dream.

And it had given Shane to Ryan.


End file.
